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MY TOWN


From what everyone tells me I should be honored to be able to live in such a beautiful place. It is a section of Georgia known as "The Golden Isles." "The Golden Isles" is located about 40 miles from the Florida State line and rests right on the Atlantic Ocean. I can leave my house and I can be on the beach within ten minutes.

The truth of the matter is that I never go to the beach. Why would I? The sand is no longer white. It has a grey cast to it and there is sea-weed and drift-wood for as far as the eye can see. There have been times when there was so much garbage on the beach that even the baby turtles have a hard time deciding which direction they should travel to head out into the ocean. Of course this does not mean that the locals do not use the beaches. The young ladies are out by the thousands. Each willing to display their tanned bodies and their new summer thong bikini. The ladies strut their stuff, up and down the beach, until one of their children scream out in agony. A loud scream generally means that a child been attacked by a school of poisonous jellyfish or had one of it's toes bitten off by a shark.

Even the local rivers are polluted with high levels of Mercury. I am sure that Georgia Pacific and Hercules, the local pulp mills and chemical plants, are not responsible for any of this damage. At least that is what they say. When I am fishing on my boat and I catch a two headed fish, or a five legged frog I just smile and say "Remember big fellow; Your special." Then I place them back into the water and I watch them swim away. The whole time their two heads, or five legs, making a wake as though a Carnival Cruise Liner was making it's get-a-way.

The only place for the common-man to get a way for a weekend is the local Glynn County Camp-ground. It is located on "Blythe Island." It sits about a mile from the interstate 95. In the last three years even that has changed. The camp ground has turned into a place for those travelers who own $200,000.00 dollar motor-homes. The rates have sky-rocketed in the last three years. Rather than the park being a place for the locals to have a nice week-end. It has turned into a money making venture for Glynn County. Of course the "tent sites" are still available for a reasonable eighteen, or twenty dollars a night. That is if you can take the bugs, sand nats, mosquitos, snakes and the humidity when it reaches a heart-stopping 110 degrees. This is the only place on earth where a family can get a toasty, roasted tan while sleeping in a tent.

Once in a while I will drive over to the islands. As I drive around I will past several old civil war forts. It is hard for me to believe that there was a war fought here. Not exactly sure why the South lost the war. Probably because the soldiers got stuck in the muck of the river banks. Most likely they couldn't get their feet out and were captured by the North.

The G-8 Summit was held here in The Golden Isles just a few weeks ago. There were some thirty thousand police offices stationed here during the conference. That figure does not include the federal agents, or the United States Army. Oh, then there was the United States Navy and it's massive gun-ships sitting right off shore. I had thought about going fishing on my boat while all this stuff was going on. But word trickled down to us commoners that the words "bait" and "tackle" had been placed on the "you can not use these words" list, until after the G-8 Summit was complete.

The President stayed on what is known as "Sea Island." That is where only the rich people live. It is a heavily guarded and gated community. The only way that peasants can get into Sea Island if they have special permission to cut lawns or fix one of many gold plated toilets.

Having dinner on Sea Island costs about $125.00 a plate. I don't think they have the early bird special. That is where the President ate his meals. I am not sure what they had to eat but if President Bush, and his buddies, would have been in for a real treat if they would have snuck off the island and headed out to Willie's Weenie Wagon for a pork chop sandwich, or a couple of slaw dogs.

I moved to Brunswick back in 1989. Land was cheap and the taxes were reasonable. However, all that has changed. The taxes have doubled, or tripled. You look cross-eyed and the county will try and suck money out of you anyway that they can.

The local government officials do nothing for the locals. Oh, they will if you live in their community, or have bundles of money. These local officials spend tax-payer money as if they are playing a super-size game of Monopoly.

Most public officials, working in the local government, look at the locals as if they were idiots. Every few years they really dig deep into the pockets of the working man, or woman. One good example is the local garbage service. The garbage collection use to be covered in the "property tax." They started a new garbage service and began charging a totally new rate. The original eighty dollars left in the property tax, for garbage service, was kept by the county. This is how they operate. They are sneaky and they think that they are swift. Even when several hundred thousand dollars came up missing from the water department. The matter was hushed up and swept under the rug. Both the county and the state admit that it's citizens are over-taxed. However, that does not stop them from planting 25 palm trees, which cost one thousand dollars a piece. This brilliant idea came about when certain officials heard that President Bush was coming to town. The President never came near the darn trees. Even if he had driven down the roadway where the trees were planted. I do not think that he would have stopped his motor-cade to say "My, look at those beautiful trees with those little sprouts coming out the top."

If there were ever a county that has forgotten that it's salaries are paid by the public it serves; This is the one.

The government rules and regulations set forth in the charter do not matter to most of them. The local offices have been taken over by a bunch of old women who make up their own rules as they go along. If they like you then they will bend the rules to accommodate you. If you are a friend, or a neighbor, then can get by with murder. If not you are going to pay through the nose. Glynn County never admits to making a mistake. If they over-charge you on your water bill, because they misread your water-meter, they will do everything in their power to try and convince you that you are the one at fault. That you should have been watching the meter-man when he came around to read your meter. Therefore you should pay a penalty, or late charge.

The commissioners, and other county officials, do very little for the welfare of the common man. When election time rolls around you see their signs everywhere. They are out in force all about town. Smiling, laughing and shaking hands with everyone who drives by. But when it's all over and done with the common-man is nothing more than "a pain in the butt." Unless, of course you keep your big mouth shut and never ask for anything that may cost the county a dine.

Yes, this is the wonderful Golden Isles where I work and live. They say that this is God's Country. I do agree on one thing. God has a special purpose of this area. If the world ever needs an enema this is where he intends to stick the hose.



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