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AND WHEN I DIE, AND WHEN I'M GONE. THERE WILL BE SOMEONE TO CARRY ON
Boy! What a wonderful feeling it is to make a child feel smart and special, and it costs nothing at all. It is free, just for the taking.
I, like you, do not know when I am going to die. But I do know this: it is going to be a very good day for me, because I will have loved my granddaughter so much and made her feel ‘so smart, so special and so pretty’ that my passing will be one of the saddest days of her life. I will look down and I see her crying and I will feel so proud of myself. I will know that I have done my job as a grandparent and that I have done it well.
It will be good to know that the chain of abuse and the wrongs that I suffered as a child will finally have been broken and that all the pain I endured will have been used by me to make a much better tomorrow for my family in the future.
Yes, there are many things that happened down through the years that I wish I’d done differently. I understand now that I could have been a better parent, a more loving husband and a more understanding father. Many of us really did not have very much to work with when we finally broke away from our own abusive situations. But through the years, many of us have taken the broken pieces and somewhat put our own lives back together. Yes, there are still many cracks in the dam and there always will be.
There are those of us who have chosen to not give up. We stood there, year after year, with our bloody hands pressed against the leaking cracks holding back the flood, allowing our children and grandchildren time to build their own strong foundations. For some of us, our own children may never even realize how much we really gave of ourselves. But that's okay; that's the price good parents pay sometimes.
And when I die and when I'm gone, will I have left someone to carry on? YES! When I am gone, I will have left someone much more kind, gentle and loving than myself. That is a wonderful feeling and it is a very special gift that we can be proud of.
One day, when all the pictures we took of ourselves are faded and gone never to be seen again - that is when the story about our good deeds and sacrifices will be told for new ears, on sleepy little smiling faces, in a ‘happy story’ reading: "Once upon a time… "