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THE GRAVE YARD
Last week, my wife and I were sitting in a restaurant and I just about fell off my chair when a friend of ours walked up and said the words "Margie died." He could not possibly mean Margie, a girl that I had seen several times before I met my wife. Margie was 10 or so years younger than I, so he could not possibly mean that Margie. Well, that was the Margie he was talking about.
Margie did not have the best of reputations and I never understood why. I met her and invited her to my house on numerous occasions over a period of two years. We cooked dinner together, joked and laughed as she meticulously cut each and every tomato for the salad, just so-so. We swam in the pool and talked about music lying in the sun.
There never was anything romantic about Margie's and my relationship. I think that is why I liked her so much. It was just that we seemed to enjoy each others company and that was all there was to it. We did not expect anything from one another, except maybe a laugh or two and the safety of knowing that someone was there, if they were needed.
I've only been to one or two funerals in my lifetime, but I have never, ever been to a graveyard alone to visit someone. Boy! What a strange feeling. It's like a tingly, numb kind of feeling comes over your entire body - sort of like what I felt when I stood before the Vietnam Memorial Wall.
Just what do you say when you stand before another person who is no longer with us? What does one say when a little white lie can no longer withhold or hide the truth in one's heart? You fumble and you mumble just a bit, but then you realize that it does not do any good. That the truth is now the truth and that 'all' is truly known. You can no longer hide your feelings, good or bad. So you finally just spit out the truth, just the way it honestly is.
"I liked you a lot Margie. You were a good friend. You brought hours of joy into my life when I was down and I will miss you very much." Then you turn around, still sad and numb, walk away and continue on with your life. How sad it is that we can only be 100 per cent truthful and honest with those who we feel can honestly see what is inside our hearts, minds and thoughts.
It is a shame that we can only use "real honest to goodness truth" and "real honest to goodness honesty" when we are with loved one's and friends who are buried in our cemeteries.